Jet Lag.

I am awake.  No I am asleep.  It is day.  No night.  Okay day.  Eyes burn open but they scream.  So very red.  They have been pricked with pins, imaginary pins.  Adrenalin rushes through my veins.  It wraps around my heart.  Oh the pain.  I stand up but I am distant.  The world is here, no it is there.  My familiar pillow beckons me back.  A little longer.  It has been an hour.  No three.  Okay five.  I can still hear their voices.  They are close.  My mother’s arms, my father’s face.  She is tiny.  She is a wee babe.  She is perfect.  My arms hold her.  No I am asleep.  No I am awake.  My arms are empty.  They are here.  No they are there.  The world is distant.  This familiar world feels far away.  I am here.  No I am there.  Okay here.  It is distant. I am numb.  Body beckons back to sleep.  They are close in my sleep.  I am distant, no this world is distant.  No it is distance…….. such a very far distance.  I am awake.  No asleep.  Yes, awake.